I Have a Dream

PROLOGUE

Today has been a great day for roast chicken.

It all started with an absolutely delightful discussion with two men who I would easily call chicken experts.  Well, perhaps that's not fair.  One is an expert from the Midwest who has ample roast chicken experience.  The other, well, I think he likes roast chicken. Anyway, some very interesting points were made by the former:

• He wraps his chickens in tin foil to lock in the juices and use them as a steaming agent to make the meat moist
• Halfway through cooking, he flips the bird over
• He tends to (I forget.  If I feel like it, I'll ask him again and fill this in).

Anyway, the fact is, roast chicken has been consuming me, which is rather ironic when the entire point of this blog is for me to consume it.  I've been wondering about if I should marinade the chicken, should I use butter or olive oil or both, should I go for a crisper crust or for a more fall-off-the-bone tender chicken, should I try - and is it possible? - to achieve both, etc. etc.

After my discussion with the aforementioned gentlemen, I poured myself a generous glass of apple cider and reclined in my leisure chair.  I pondered meats, chickens, poultry and yes, that's correct.  It was a gray and rainy day, the leaves turning yellow and the chill of the universe wafting through the silver afternoon sky.  Although, I must admit, I'm not really sure what a silver afternoon sky is.  It certainly sounds nice, though.

I walked home, stopped at the supermarket, determined to roast a chicken.  This time, I didn't fudge around.  I bought a whole, 2.75lb beauty.  I also bought a pre-packaged serving of vegetables.

INGREDIENTS

•  2.75lb chicken
• Onions, garlic, celery, carrots, leeks, turnips
• Olive oil
• Butter
• Salt & Pepper

 PREPARATION

I rubbed butter on the chicken in a very supple way.  I then salted and peppered the bird.  I then added olive oil.  I then added in the vegetables.  I inserted my vegetables into the cavity.  I poured some more olive oil on the vegetables and added more salt and pepper.  I preheated the oven to 400 and cooked the bird for about an hour.

OUTCOME

Better than my first attempt, but much more work remains.  The chicken was juicy and not overcooked, but there lacked any crust.  The vegetables were excellent, and in fact the highlight of the roast.  Lord knows there is nothing wrong with great roast vegetables, but they shouldn't steal the show as much as they did.  You should taste the chicken and say, "I want to take a bath in this chicken."  You should then taste the vegetables and say, "I want to take a bath in these vegetables."  You should NOT want to take a bath in the vegetables and merely want to wash your hands with the chicken.

LESSONS LEARNED

I still do not feel the bird was seasoned well enough.  I may need to stop using a sea salt grinder, in which the salt is applied directly onto the bird via the device; I may need to buy course sea salt, which I can place in my hands and proceed to douse the great bird with. I did not rinse the bird with water before using.  I did not keep good track of the time.

EPILOGUE

After my roast I retired once more to my study and lit my pipe.  Outside I heard an elderly man fall over and cry out in pain, and a few youngsters passed by and laughed at him.  I couldn't help but feel that these same youngsters would have laughed at my chicken, much as they laughed at the old man.  It would be much more calamitous to laugh at my chicken, though, because we expect children to laugh at old people when they are in pain; we do not expect them to laugh at roast chicken.

I buried my chin and smoked my pipe and contemplated this fact, which cannot be proven but is indubitably true.